ARSENAL PLAYERS LOSE THEIR HEADS?

November 22, 2010

By Red Arse

How do you rate a player’s performance in a game?

After our dismal second half performance against Spurs on Saturday, I thought to myself, how do I explain that outcome? Well, I cannot know what either ‘Arry or Arsene’s role was in the dramatic change of fortune but I can offer an opinion on the players’ performances, but how can I rate them meaningfully?

Here is a suggestion for you to consider.

So you have been to the game, read the reports in the papers and now your eye drops to the box which shows the players’ names, and the reporter’s rating of each player’s performance, marked out of 10.
The usual outburst tends to follow. “What? That’s outrageous! 8 my arse! He gave him an 8? That’s a ridiculous score. He had a terrible game; he missed that tackle on the edge of the box, and also missed what should have been a simple tap in, from the winger’s cross. It should have been a 6, at best!” — And so on, and so on –.

The rating of a player’s performance is very subjective but causes much irate discussions between fans. And that is not surprising because there is no standard formula for comparing individual performances.
For example, — is the player being marked against his own expected standards, based on previous games played, or against the standards of the best player, in a particular position? Is an allowance to be made for the age or relative inexperience of the player? Or is it subjective, because you have a soft spot for the home players, commonly known as describing all your “ugly ducklings as swans”.
Clearly there is no agreed formulaic method, so I am going to propose one!
First, we need to go back and see what we can learn from history.
Throughout the Roman Empire, games were held every holiday or festival, indeed not unlike our Saturday football ritual, which usually entailed gladiators fighting animals, and the performance ratings were straight forward. You either killed the wild animal, and were treated as a hero, or you were killed and it was game over!

But there was another massively popular type of entertainment, a gladiator versus gladiator match up. Each man selected a weapon of choice, be it a sword and shield, or a spear and net, or a mace and dagger.
After a usually bloody encounter, there was often an outright winner where one of the gladiators was killed, leaving the survivor to be greeted as a hero and winning all the accolades.

Just occasionally, one man would be exhausted, disabled and lay prostrate before the victorious gladiator. The accepted practise was for the crowd to then decide the outcome. They would recommend the “coup de grace”, (killing strike), if they thought the loser had put on a poor show. If the crowd thought the fight had been entertaining, and the loser had fought well, they would sometimes recommend clemency, and his life would be spared.
So how was this “rating” communicated?

The crowd, apart from howling their exhortations to the Emperor, would gesticulate, holding their hands aloft and clenched into fists with the thumb extended.
Crucially, if the thumb was held pointing aloft, they were beseeching the Emperor to spare the life of the loser, if, however, the thumb was pointed downward, they were showing their disapproval of the performance and demanding that the loser be fatally dispatched!
So how can we use this simple, straightforward method of “rating”?
I PROPOSE: that the losing team are to be individually subjected to the fans judgement, using the same simple old Roman system of choice. To encourage fans’ participation, we could also use the power of the word to expedite matters, so that amusing chants would be awarded an extra point for the team.

So here we go;
A good, albeit losing, performance would receive a “thumbs up” and the player would be free to play the next game.
A mediocre performance would receive a trembling, horizontally held thumb and the player would only be suspended for the next game.
Then, the finale — a player who clearly had played poorly, in the opinion of the fans, or who had broken the leg of any Arsenal player, would see the execution paraphernalia rolled out, accompanied by the downward pointing of myriad thumbs and, the sombre sound of the fans displeasure, baying for his head, and chanting;

“He needs a short, sharp shock from a cheap chippy chopper on a big black block.”
Or
“Bing bang bong, it’s your head or your dong!”

This would have the immediate effect of;
· Standardising players’ ratings;
· Ridding the game of the clogging leg breakers;
· Ensuring only fabulous Wengerball would be played;
· Improving the standard of the fans’ chants.

All those in favour say AYE! ———— “AYE!”

OK, OK, I can hear some of you saying what a load of twaddle. We need something more modern to gauge our players’ performances by.
Well what about putting your thinking caps on, and make some suggestions of your own as to how we should rate performances, in a consistent manner, in the real world?

Should we, for instance;
· Make allowances for age? Those players under 20 would get an extra 2 point weighting, so a 5 out of 10 becomes a 7?
· Make allowances/comparisons for previous performances? A player who rated a crappy 5 last time out, but played much better in the current game, would get an extra 1 for the effort?
· Perhaps Goal Keepers, who only need to make one mistake to lose a game, but who can play brilliantly in a poor team performance and save a point, should be rated separately and marked out of 12?
· Should an extra mark be awarded/deducted for wearing a particularly fetching pink outfit, a la FabiPinkski?
· Perhaps points should be deducted for any player wearing bilious Bendtner type boots.
· Or, should we say — sod all that, let the reporter give the marks he wants, and then tear him an extra one if we disagree with him?
Let us have your views, the majority view will prevail!

ARSENAL, THE TEAM THAT WILL MAKE US PROUD!


A Message To Arsene Wenger.

July 30, 2010

I am very confident [we’ll do better than last season],” he said. “We know in England that the Premier League is the biggest league in the world and everybody invests a lot of money.
 
“We invest in our work, in our beliefs, in the quality of our behaviour and I am confident that will pay off.

I don’t want to sound like I’m interfering Mr Wenger, but after studying your recent comments it seems as though you are seriously thinking about not signing anyone else to strengthen our squad this window.

If so, I seriously recommend you think twice about this. You are treading a very thin line and your once large numbers of loyal followers are dwindling year by year. After all the ‘noise’ YOU made about strengthening the squad for the up coming season I expect YOU to stand by your word and do your job. If not expect those numbers to drop even lower..

Do you really think the fans have forgotten last years dreadful performances by the same players that give dreadful performances every season. Do you really think the fans have forgotten the dreadful form of games where we won 2 in 10?? Do you really think the fans are going to accept another year of lies and complete poppycock that you seem to become so used to spinning us???

The bottom line is, you keep taking our money, silly money at that and you are not doing anything with it.. Why aren’t the profits you are so proud of making every season being put back into the team??.. I for one don’t class giving average players new contracts for doing crap as putting the fans money back into the team..If anything its wasting it..

If I fork out for a £300 quid Paul Smith jacket, I don’t want to get it home – only to wear it once and find all the buttons have fallen off and all the stitching has come loose. I don’t want to take it back to the store, only to be told by the store manager that I can’t have my money back, or indeed a better quality jacket. I don’t want to be fed the crap that even though the jacket has its flaws, it is a young jacket with great potential and if i invest another £300 on it we will work hard with the jacket and take pride when it fixes itself…

I want value for my money..

It’s the same in any field of business and if you want to treat the fans like customers instead of family then expect a lot of back lash..

The fans ‘noise’ is getting louder and louder every year and I think you’ll find it’s not in agreement with the way you are running things..Talks of a demonstration last year were quickly gathering pace..Nobody wants to demonstrate against you Mr Wenger but nobody wants to see Almunia or Fabianski in goal for the start of next season either. If either appear at the Emirates Cup then you can expect a few raised eyebrows and tut tut’s on the day..

We desperately need another CB.. Another top class one..It doesn’t matter how you spin it or how many youngsters we have coming through, the majority of fans will not be happy if we go into the season with what we’ve got..

You said after last year we had more money than ever and you were intent on strengthening the squad in the areas needed.. You’ve done sod all (again) only lose more players than you buy (again) and we are almost done with pre season (again)..

It is NOT your money. It’s the clubs money. It’s Arsenals money. It’s OUR money..Spend it and reinforce that team because we are weaker than last year and you know it…

You destroyed a perfectly good team. A strong team that had another 2-3 years in it and we’ve won nothing since. At one point we were the best. We had the best players and you let them all go. Top teams don’t let their best players go, they keep them and build on them and after 5 years I thought it would have been obvious to you where we were going wrong but I guess not.

You might be the best manager Arsenal have had but your starting to live off past glories. The club is bigger than you and if you take us into one more year of the same soap opera, filled with false promises and lies then don’t bother renewing your contract..Take a seat upstairs where your book-keeping is more useful and let someone else take over who’s hungry and doesn’t throw real trophies or see 3rd or 4th place as the best we can do…

I still think you’re a legend and what I’ve said doesn’t mean to come across too harsh. After all you’ve done for us I’m more than happy to let you see out your contract. After all, there was a time when you were clearing up and every top club was after you, but you stayed loyal to us.. For that I thank you. I also thank you for guiding the club through a difficult period and keeping our heads above water. Youve done an amazing job, but I think its time someone stuck a rocket up your arse and told you to get back in touch with the fans…If the board wont do it then believe me the fans will…

We have high ambitions for this club. Ambitions fed to us by you. If you want my opinion, if you want to achieve those ambitions you need to sort this squad out and quick.

I know you want that Champions League and I don’t think your going to get it, continuing to do as you are..

I have voiced my concerns and have given you my judgement, but I will stand by and support yours whatever you chose to do, but only for this one last time..Arsenal are the team I love. Arsenal are the team I support and I want them to do well. You are the manager of Arsenal and at the end of the day it’s only your opinion that counts. I just hope you know what you are doing in what could possibly be your last year.. Not just for your sake, but for Arsenals sake..

I don’t for one minute think that when you came up with the blueprints for this ‘project’ of yours, the fairy tale ending was to go 6 years without a single trophy and seeing your contract run out..Just keep that in mind before you put that dusty cheque book back into your sky….


It all begins just how it ended!!

July 17, 2010

Well shiver me old timbers, the new season kicks off today and I’m really disappointed that both Almunia and Fabianski are the two goal keepers travelling to Barnet!

I think I speak for every fan here when I say I’d much rather seen Chesney and Mannone in the twenty-two man squad….

What can be made of that, is it last chance saloon for both Almunia and Fabianski? Is it their own sudden death penalty shootout to see who stays with us next season as number 2, or is it going to be same old fight between the two of them to play each week??

There have been plenty of rumours surrounding Arsenal and goal keepers which is a good sign, so we could still see a new No1 this coming season. I sure as heck don’t want us to start the new season with either of those muppets in goal!!

The Daily Express have picked up on the Handanovic reports, as have Wikipedia. The latter suggest he is due to sign after a medical. 

Still just 25, the Udinese No1 is Slovenia’s undisputed first-choice keeper. That status has been earned over several years, but most notably during a South Africa 2010 qualifying campaign that witnessed Handanovic marshal, arguably, the meanest defence in the entire European Zone.  He conceded just three goals in eight group matches, which included an all-important clean sheet in a decisive victory over Russia.

Gianluigi Buffon has hailed him as “one of the best goalkeepers in Italy”, while Slovenian fans consider him to be among the finest in the world…

Did he impress enough at the World Cup to convince you that he is better than what we have already??

Here he is in action…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r19o0bBdUV4

Could this man be our next new signing??

On to today, here’s the squad in full for the Barnet game..

Manuel Almunia (GK)
Andrey Arshavin
Nacer Barazite
Marouane Chamakh
Johan Djourou
Craig Eastmond
Eduardo
Jay Emmanuel-Thomas
Lukasz Fabianski (GK)
Emmanuel Frimpong
Kieran Gibbs
Conor Henderson
Laurent Koscielny
Henri Lansbury
Ignasi Miquel
Samir Nasri
Havard Nordtveit
Tomas Rosicky
Armand Traore
Thomas Vermaelen
Theo Walcott
Jack Wilshere

I’ve paid my £3, and I really hope I and all fans get to see the two new boys and the likes of Lansbury, Nordtveit, Wilshere, Frimpong and Djourou play – I still believe they have a role to perform this coming season, especially if the cheque book stays closed….

Oh well, that’s about it, enjoy the game, the good thing is that football and Arsenal are back for another long and no doubt painful season ahead…

Finally, Arsene Wenger needs to step up in his chase for a new defender but we all know that. Now though it seems that Vidic is desperate to leave Manchester United and move to Real Madrid. Should that move take place, you can bet your bottom dollar and rumour is we have a few, that Fergie won’t hang around in the transfer market to find his replacement. So come on Arsene, if you really want Gary Cahill or Phil Jagielka, best you get on with it!


Another Diaby/Denilson season! Waiter to go home, Hammers want Sol, they can have him!!

July 12, 2010

I read yesterday that Atletico Madrid want to throw Almunia a lifeline to help firm up their defence. Yes of course I laughed, AM are supposed to have ‘the next Casillas’ (David De Gea) in their squad so why not play him and leave Manuel alone. Not that I’m complaining of course, they can have Almunia, in fact they can have Almunia and Fabianski for all I care!

I have to go away for a couple of days now. I’m helping a Spanish couple and their dog pack up all their belongings, then I’m taking them to Heathrow Airport to make sure they catch their flight to Madrid-Barajas Airport!! Oh, I’m also going to pinch any return tickets out of their luggage if I find any!! 🙂

‘Bye Bye Mr Fawlty’ says our very own Manuel as he flys over Torquay!! (yes I know, it won’t go that way)

Sols gone off on one again, first it was abroad, then Scotland, quick flirt with Sunderland and now it seems he could come right back to the heart of London and sign for the team who was the cause of him leaving us a few seasons ago, how bizarre would that be….. Talking of West Ham, seems Avram Grant is keen to get his team back up the table this year, not only does he want Sol but he also wants Loic Remy having secured the signing of some pacey winger from Mexico, Pablo Barrera…

West Ham can have Sol, if he wanted to stay with us he would have sorted this out with Wenger a long time ago. After we gave him another chance last season to play in the Premier League and Champions League, this is how he repays the club! No doubt he’s scouting around to see where he can earn the most money, well go Sol!!

Yesterday there was a bit of a debate about whether or not Arsene Wenger will buy another Centre Half, many thought that when Wenger said we are in for a defensive player it could be a midfielder rather than a defender. Well the boss has since confirmed we won’t be buying a midfielder…

He said,

“We are not interested in Gourcuff and we were never contacted, he’s a player I like a lot, but we are sufficiently covered in midfield.”

But, does that mean in the attacking sense or defensive? He gives nothing away does he, but all the time our captain stays, of course he won’t need replacing – I guess its ‘Watch this space’…

In the meantime though it looks as if we have another exciting season ahead watching Diaby and Denilson in the midfield. That worries me big time, Denilson is no substitute for Song, never! If there’s one thing Wenger needs to get right this season its rotation. He/we cannot afford an injury to Alex Song or any other player, but especially Song.  I wish Arsenal could send Diaby on a crash course at the ‘school of defending’ and see him as Songs deputy rather then Denilson.

At least now the World Cup is over, the old wiley one should be on his plane back to London by now. The squad are training and he needs to get his arse into gear now and get this Arsenal side ready to take on and beat all rivals. Yes the transfer window is open for another 6/7 weeks but our first ‘proper’ test begins with The Emirates Cup on the 31st July when we face AC Milan.

Barring a last minute deal between Barca and Arsenal for Cesc, we should get an idea of what this coming season will look like, player wise. Surely and as I keep saying, Wenger will want the squad sorted and together by that date, so that gives him twenty days realistically to make any new signings.

I know many many fans don’t believe he will bring in a player or two, but I do. I think we will see a goal-keeper and a centre half. If we lose/sell any others then I think we will see more. They may not be who you want, but in a few months they may just be players you like….

On a final note, resident blogger mikeB sent this in, after I stopped laughing I thought I’d share it. A perfect ending to the World Cup where England were just dreadful, so was the final….

It seems England  are not only thinking about ditching Stuart Pearce and Ray Clemence but are thinking about new sponsers too!!

I love it, thanks mikeB….

Have a good day all, today our transfer window could open……


Sad for fans, bring back Setanta and Cesc speaks..

July 10, 2010

 

For those who haven’t seen afc.com and the new reserves format, this was released on the website yesterday….

The League format will result in teams in the Southern Group playing a total of 20 matches and teams in the two Northern Groups playing 19 matches each.

Each team will play home and away against the other teams in their group and once against all other teams (equally divided home and away).

The winners of the two Northern Groups will play off to determine the Northern League Winners.

The Northern League Winners will then play off against the Southern Group Winners to determine the Barclay’s Premier Reserve League Play Off Winners.

The Premier League Board has also given approval for clubs’ training grounds to be used to stage fixtures. Consequently, Arsenal will be staging several home Premier Reserve League fixtures, as afternoon kick offs, at the London Colney Training Centre. Unfortunately, the Club is not permitted to allow supporters at this venue and therefore these home Reserves matches will be staged ‘behind closed doors’.

However, the Club hugely values the loyal following that has attended Reserve League matches at Barnet FC in recent years and we are keen to maintain opportunities for supporters to watch young talent developing in our Reserve team. Therefore, we have reached an agreement with Barnet FC to stage home Premier Reserve League matches at Underhill during months with more favourable weather – ie September, March and April, as well as any home FA Youth Cup matches in Rounds Three, Four and Five.

Just look at the regular bloggers here on Avenell Road, I could probably count on one hand the amount of folk who are fortunate to watch our team play at The Emirates every home game and get the chance to watch the youth/reserves play their matches. Not only do we have bloggers who live at opposite ends of England, we have a world-wide group of bloggers too.

One of the best things that happened football wise for me was Setanta bursting on to the scene and then Arsenal announcing they were launching their own television channel. It was then we all could watch the youth/Reserves play, watch the Ladies rule every competition they played in and along the way we were able to sit and enjoy a classic match involving the boys from the past.

Not only did Setanta go belly up, but our own television channel went with it last year, a sad day for me and I’m sure many other fans. I used to know who the up and coming youngsters were, where they played and be able to answer ‘Yes’ when a silly blogger used to ask,  ‘Have you actually seen this kid play?’

Now I can’t watch them on television and many fans can’t now get to see them play at home….

Now it seems that because of the new format for the reserve league, Arsenal fans can’t even go and watch the reserves in the flesh. Fixtures are being played at London Colney and behind closed doors as fans are not permitted.
Ok, they say the reserves can play at Underhill when the weather is good – but when do we get good weather in September, March and April?? What will they do when the weather is bad, will they revert to playing at London Colney??

How many fans go to watch the youth/reserves just to watch the team they love, often because it’s a lot cheaper than watching the big boys when times are hard??

Grrrrr, Come on Arsenal, surely you can strike a deal with ESPN or another digital channel, I know not with Sky as they anti-Arsenal, but what about Channel 5, or one of the other channels….

I miss Arsenal TV, do you??

Finally, Cesc has spoken if you believe his column in The Sun, yes it’s mostly about the World Cup and Spain, but he does make reference to his club Arsenal – he says its strange that his teammates are back in training but both he and Robin are just ending their season, he’s been texting Robin a lot too.

Mmme, I wonder what Robin has said to him? Answers on a postcard please!!

Mine’s – ”Ere Cesc, I hear you’ve booked your seat for next season”  🙂

Have a good day all, wherever you are ………


Saga draws to a close, no thanks SWP and it will be Wengers fault!

July 9, 2010

Come Monday morning this World Cup saga will be over, either Cesc or Robin will begin the new season as World Cup winners, I sure hope it’s Robin, at least he’s contributed to Holland’s results, unlike our current captain of course who sadly has had to watch from the bench for most of his time in South Africa.

The main reason I can’t wait to see the back of this competition is we finally get to hear from our captain, but secondly and maybe more importantly, Arsene Wenger will be back doing his day job for Arsenal.

We know we already have Chamakh and Kos but this could be the time that the transfer window comes alive.

Pre-season soon begins and clubs will want any new boys to be involved early, ready to begin the new season with players fit  and used to their new team mates.

It will be exciting and interesting to see where the players like Ozil, Honda, Mertesacker and Schweinsteiger all end up, they may of course just stay where they are if their happy. These players are just a few who have shone during this competition and speculation will go into crazy mode.

I’d be happy, very happy if German pair Bastian Schweinsteiger and Per Mertesacker were signed by Wenger. What would they cost together, £40-50M, I’d say that would be money very well spent. Add to that Schwarzer and I think we are complete. Give me the cheque book Arsene, I’ll go and sort them out….

On to rumours, more silly rumours – suggestions are that we are in a battle with others to sign ex legend Ian Wright’s son, well we don’t need him and surely we don’t want him. He is a City cast off who was dreadful at the World Cup. Not to be able to shine amongst that shower of s***e says it all, he’s finished, he probably was from the day he signed for Chelsea. He left City for money then after gathering splinters he went grovelling back to a club that made him a darn good player, what has he done for them since??

In any case, we have enough tiny tots in our side, we need beasts, not tiddlers…

Talking of tiddlers, Stéphane Sessegnon is again linked with us and a host of other clubs. He’s reported to be in advanced talks with a Premier League club and his move away from PSG will be announced over the next few days. Prior to signing for PSG, he was with Le Mans and his position was holding midfielder. At only 5’8″ tall I can’t see him being signed by Wenger, can you??

The real good news though is yesterday Arsene Wenger said that our summer spending is not over and we are looking for another defender, mme, me thinks it’s not just a defender either, I am beginning to have even more hope now…

Couple of others linked to us again, Benfica’s Rafik Halliche who is valued at £4M and yesterday, the rumours about Melo gathered pace after reports in Italy suggest Juve hope for a swap with Clichy. Not sure on that one myself, is Gibbs ready to take over the LB position full-time, maybe he is?  Fabio Capello has made it quite clear that many a youth player will now get a chance to play for England so why not?.

Gibbs, Wilshere and Walcott could all very well be involved in Euro 2012 and the 2014 World Cup, now that would make me pay a bit more attention to the television when England play…. Then just look at the other young English players in our reserves and youth, it could soon be Arsenal playing in the Euro and World Cup……

Even then though, were we to get all the way through the competition, only to be beaten in the final, it would still be Arsene Wengers fault 😉


Sky Sports ruined my Saturday rituals….

July 2, 2010

This is, unashamedly, for Arsenal fans of a certain age. If you are not a Gooner do not read on, this is not for you.

My earliest recollection of going to watch Arsenal was when my dad took me to Highbury, for my birthday, more years ago than I care to admit to. After that, it soon became a weekly ritual and in the long week, from Sunday to Friday, leading up to the game on Saturday, I spent countless hours scouring as many newspapers as possible to glean even the smallest article about my beloved team.As Saturday came closer, the pent-up excitement and sheer exuberance was almost too much to bear.

Then Friday evening was spent getting my Arsenal shirt, scarf and bobble hat ready for the off, neatly folding and re-folding to ensure they were pristine, until my Mum yelled for me to turn the light out and go to sleep!
Saturday morning dawned, I leapt out of bed and hurtled into the shower and distantly heard other family members shouting at me “it’s only 4 a.m.”. Oh no! So, back to my room once more, squirming with the need to be quiet and patient, willing the hours to fly by. To pass the time, I got down my carefully stored box of Arsenal programmes, and equally carefully read thru my lovingly collected programmes, with the teams printed on the back cover.
Then, at last, the moment arrived! Everyone was up for a hurried breakfast; then I tore down to the shops to buy three papers, it had to be three papers or Arsenal might not win. Sports pages read, chores done, we were off.

Down to the tube station, tickets obtained, the journey had begun. Arriving at Arsenal (a tube station named after my club … Bliss); the fans surged off the train, and, with my dad’s arm wrapped protectively around me, we were squeezed into the long and slightly spooky passenger tunnel, until we emerged out of the exit onto Gillespie Road, like a human sausage. Not long now. Up Highbury Hill to the West Stand turnstiles, click, click we are in. Then, I am throwing myself up the stairs to grab my seat opposite the East Stand where the teams would eventually emerge, like a human snake.

The teams are out, the big hand on the Clock in the South Stand is ticking inexorably towards 3 p.m., the crowds’ singing is growing louder until, in a huge crescendo, the hand reaches the 3; the referee blows his whistle and the game is on.

Such joy, such ecstasy! I didn’t know it then, but no orgasm in later life would ever match that moment.
After the game, with hands, nose and feet frozen, it’s off to get a hot cup of reviving Bovril, before beginning the journey home. Did you see that tackle? I’m sure he was offside! I think Rocky Rocastle is brilliant, I want to play like him. My poor dad had to put up with my prattle all the way home. Home at last, exhausted, in time for the Grandstand sports report.
That ritual was repeated week in and week out, with the substitution of Beer for Bovril as I grew older. 🙂

Happy memories, indeed, but what is Sky’s connection?
Well nowadays, because of Sky’s schedules, the ritual of a Saturday 3 p.m. kickoff is almost a thing of the past. There is Saturday and Sunday lunch time kick offs; Saturday and Sunday evening Kickoffs and so everything has changed!
There is though an upside to this. As a passionate Gooner I love the fact that I can see, not just the home games, but also many away games, frequently shown on TV. Many Arsenal fans in Africa, America, the Philipines and all over the world can see the games and enjoy them too.

One final massive benefit is that it has led me, indirectly, to a great website, here at Avenell Road, where I can chat about all things Arsenal, with so many good friends and fellow Gooners, and share with them moments of serendipity and humour.

That is worth losing my Saturday ritual for.

Now, where are the morning papers with their rubbish but fascinating transfer rumours!

Written by Red Arse